An entire industry has cropped up around convincing certain men that they are not good enough as they are. That industry tends to prey on men who might lack some self-confidence. Even though they might feel as if their self-confidence woes are due to their lack of dating success, it is oftentimes a cycle that feeds itself. People who do not have much success in dating tend to have lower self-confidence and those who have lower self-confidence tend to have less success with dating. You see how this could become a perpetual cycle that is very difficult to break out of. Here are a few tips to help you break out:
Be Confident but Not Pushy
Very few women are interesting in dating a guy who lacks confidence. Those dudes seem like they need constant reassurance. The thing about confidence is that you can fake it. You can decide to pretend to be a confident person. Interestingly enough, feigning confidence oftentimes leads to an increase in actual confidence. You will start to feel more secure in yourself. Additionally, you will also likely have some dating success, which will feed that confidence. However, you need to make sure you do not become overly confident or pushy.
Just as no woman wants to date someone who lacks confidence, these women also do not want to date men who pressure them. Putting pressure on a woman for sex rarely yields the results you want. Furthermore, with the amount of violence that women experience at the hands of awful men, they are naturally very wary of unwanted advances. If you push for sex when a woman is not ready, she will start to feel less safe around you. Pretty much everyone puts his or her safety as a primary concern and once you lose that feeling of security, you will be much less amenable to that person. The same thing goes for women you are trying to date.
Women Aren’t a Monolith
There are those who would try to convince you that they hold the keys to the mint. They will also tell you certain things that will help you have success with women. They will typically speak in bold generalisations that might make sense on the surface, but they do not really hold up to scrutiny.
Do you and your mates all have the same interests in sports, women, television, and careers? You probably do not. So, why would women all have the same interests in men? There are women who love shy, nerdy men. There are women who love confident, sporty men. There are some women who love both nerdy men and sporty men.
Online dating for men is oftentimes very difficult because they are expected to be the pursuers. When you think of women as a monolith, that pursuit becomes more difficult and less successful. Men who think this way will typically pick one approach to women and use it online. If you treat each woman as a distinct individual, though, you can craft a type of message that appeals better to her interests.
Appealing to each woman, earning her trust, and treating her as an autonomous person is the best way to have success.